Friday funnies . . .

Yes, it’s Friday here in New Zealand, and there’s good news and there’s bad. Our Covid levels have dropped 1, so while Auckland is at Level 2 (operating with restrictions) the remainder of New Zealand is Level One, operating with caution, contact tracing etc. The new normal.

The bad news is there’s currently a tsunami warning out for the coastal areas of the middle to upper north Island. Large areas have been evacuated following a m. 8.1 earthquake in the Kermadec Islands. It’s been downgraded but is still in force for the east coast. The Kermadec quake followed a smaller cluster off the East Cape earlier in the morning.

Now, let’s have something to cheer us up…

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Stay safe, stay calm, read a book!

For the little grey cells . . .

FOR  THOSE  WHO  ARE  BORED  WITH  THE  CURRENT  RESTRICTIONS   

Something for seniors to do to keep those “ageing” grey cells active! And for you younger ones, to get them growing!!


1. Johnny’s mother had three children.  The first child was named April. The second child was named May.  What was the third child’s name? 
 
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh? 
 
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 
 
4. How much dirt is there in a hole… that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 
 
5. What word in the English Language… is always spelled incorrectly? 
 
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.  How is this possible? 
 
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why not? 
 
8. What was the Prime Minister’s Name…in 1975? 
 
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 
 
10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”? 
 
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? 
 
  
 
 
Here are the Answers: (No peeking!) 
 
1. Johnny’s mother had three children.  The first child was named April.  The second child was named May.  What was the third child’s name? 
 
Answer: Johnny, of course. 
 
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh? 
 
Answer: Meat. 
 
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 
 
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn’t discovered yet.  [You’re not very good at this are you?] 
 
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? 
 
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole. 
 
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? 
 
Answer: Incorrectly 
 
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.  How is this possible?
 
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere. 
 
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.  Why not? 
 
Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg.  You need a camera to take pictures. 
 
8. What was the Prime  Minister’s Name in 1975? 
 
Answer: Same as is it now – Boris  Johnson [Oh,  come on …] 
 
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 
 
Answer: You would be in 2nd.  Well, you passed the person in second place, not first. 
 
10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”? 
 
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh] 
 
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? 
 
Answer: One.  If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one. 
 
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD 
 
1) You can’t count your hair. 
2) You can’t wash your eyes with soap. 
3) You can’t breathe through your nose when your tongue is out. 
 
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person. 
 
 
Ten (10) Things I know about you. 
 
1) You are reading this. 
 
2) You are human. 
 
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips. 
 
4) You just attempted to do it. 
 
6) You are laughing at yourself. 
 
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5. 
 
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 
 
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too. 
 
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it. 


I posted this because I didn’t want to be alone in the idiot category. 
 
 
TO ALL MY INTELLIGENT FRIENDS
 
Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out….
 
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
 
 
Give it another try….
Look at each word carefully.  You’ll kick yourself when you discover the Answer.  This is so cool….
 
NOW DON’T LET ME DOWN
 
No, it is not that they all have at least 2 double letters….
Answer is below!
 
 
Answer:
 
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
 
Did you figure it out?
 
No?  Then share this with more people and stump them as well.
 
Then, you’ll feel better too…..!

Hadley and Grace by Susanne Redfearn

EXCERPT: Five minutes later, they are on their way. (Hadley) glances at Mattie beside her and Skipper behind her, unable to believe it, stunned that it is happening. For fifteen years, she’s been searching for a way out, and now, just like that, she is doing it, driving away with the kids. Her heart pounds with adrenaline and a small sense of pride.

‘We’re not going back?’ Mattie says, startling Hadley from her thoughts.

‘You packed your mom’s apron,’ she says to Hadley’s surprised expression.

Hadley swallows hard, wondering if her last minute decision to shove the keepsake in her bag will tip Frank off as well. The apron is hand embroidered with daisies and stained in a dozen places; her mother wore it almost every day of Hadley’s childhood, and it is one of the few things of her mom’s she has left.

‘Don’t worry,’ Mattie says, reading Hadley’s fear. ‘Dad never goes in the kitchen drawers.’ And all the pride Hadley felt the moment before deflates, knowing how much she has failed her daughter all these years.

ABOUT ‘HADLEY AND GRACE’: Needing to escape her abusive marriage, Hadley flees with her two kids, knowing it might be her only chance. A woman who can’t even kill a spider, Hadley soon finds herself pushed to the limits as she fights to protect her family.

Grace, new mother of baby Miles, desperately wants to put her rough past behind her for good, but she finds it impossible when her path crosses with Hadley’s, and her quest for a new start quickly spirals out of control and turns into a terrifying flight for survival.

Stronger together than apart, the two find their fates inextricably entwined, and as the danger closes in, each must decide how much she is willing to risk for the other.

MY THOUGHTS: I started off by not liking this story or its characters very much: A shallow, beautiful, abused wife and her husband’s secretary, a single mum with a criminal record who has left her compulsive gambler husband. What’s to like? As it turns out, there’s a lot to like about this book. Once Hadley and Grace have robbed Frank and are on the run, we get the real measure of these two women and the children they have in tow.

From a fairly average start, Hadley and Grace explodes into an implausible but thoroughly entertaining romp involving the FBI, a kidnapping or two, occasional gunfire and several car chases. This is a read that will have you holding your breath one minute, then bursting into laughter the next, and reinforces my theory that the best friends are found in the oddest of places.

Hadley and Grace has been compared to Thelma and Louise, but I enjoyed this a whole lot more. A fun read.

⭐⭐⭐⭐.4

#HadleyandGrace #NetGalley
#crime #thriller #humour #contemporaryfiction #familydrama

‘Today is not forever. It’s just today.’

‘You brought your baby to a robbery?’
‘You wore stilettos to a robbery?’ (Abridged)

‘The first three letters in diet are a warning.’

THE AUTHOR: Suzanne Redfearn is the award-winning author of four novels: Hush Little Baby, No Ordinary Life, In an Instant, and Hadley & Grace. In addition to being an author, she’s also an architect specializing in residential and commercial design. She lives in Laguna Beach, California, where she and her husband own two restaurants.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Lake Union Publishing via Netgalley for providing a digital ARC of Hadley and Grace for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com

This review and others are also published on Twitter, Amazon, Instagram and Goodreads.com

Friday Funnies . . .

I hope these brighten your day a little, perhaps bring a smile to your face. Happy Friday everyone!

Driving, a lost skill –


 

Have a wonderful weekend and, if you’re on the road, drive safely.

And thanks again to Grumps for sending me stuff to keep me sort of sane during the working week. It seems that he has too much time on his hands and I don’t have enough…🤣😂

Friday Funnies….

Thanks to my Aussie friend Grumps again for supplying the Friday Funnies. They were just what I needed to read when I got home from work all tense and stressed!

Have a laugh on me, and a very happy Friday!

 

Vorona                                                           Cirus

Very Clever

Very                                                           Clever

Funny But True

Funny But                                                           True

Seems Like They’ve Had Some Bad Customers

Seems                                                           Like They've                                                           Had Some Bad                                                           Customers Caw                                                           Caw

Doctors Be Like

Doctors                                                           Be Like

This Synagogue Sign In Toronto

This                                                           Synagogue Sign                                                           In Toronto

You’re Obsessing About This!

You’re                                                           Obsessing                                                           About This!

We All Know That One Guy

We All                                                           Know That One                                                           Guy

Target

Target

Sign In India

Sign In                                                           India

F

Noah

Noah

No Trespassing

No                                                           Trespassing

The Good News Is We Do Accept Debit Cards

The Good                                                           News Is We Do                                                           Accept Debit                                                           Cards

Heard

Heard

#39 

Wonder How Many Times Someone Knocked Before The Sign Was Made

Wonder                                                           How Many Times                                                           Someone                                                           Knocked Before                                                           The Sign Was                                                           Made

That’s A Big Muffin

That's A                                                           Big Muffin

Strip Clubs Quarantined Sign

Strip                                                           Clubs                                                           Quarantined                                                           Sign

Well…

Well...

What’s your favourite? I love both the Algebra one (I was never any good at algebra, or geometry….letters are for reading, and numbers for counting!) and the wet floor sign.

I hope that I have brightened up your day. ❤📚

Friday funnies…

I don’t have a review ready for you today, so I thought that I would share some funnies from my Aussie friend Grumps (he isn’t really, but that is what his little grandchildren named him when they tried saying Gramps!) and ex-boss.

  I like this one best!

I hope that I have added a smile to your day, and I will be back tomorrow with a review. ❤📚

Watching what I’m reading…2021!

Here we are, 3 days into 2021 already, and nothing much seems to have changed except my back yard looks much tidier than it has for ages. I have olives forming on my olive tree for the first time, and my avocado tree which bore 9 avocado last year is absolutely laden! I need to get a watering system up to that corner of the garden as the hose doesn’t reach and, apparently, if they don’t get enough water they will just drop their fruit.

Is anyone else having difficulty referring to 2020 as last year? I am still referring to 2019 as last year!

I was reading in the early hours of New Year’s Day, a paperback as my Kindle was on the charger, and decided that I really did need some sleep when I started tapping the right hand side of the page and wondering why it wasn’t going to the next page! 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😂🤣❤📚

Currently I am reading The Wrong Family by Tarryn Fisher on my Kindle and all I can say is wow! It’s making the back of my neck tingle in anticipation. The Wrong Family is due for publication 6 January. Order your copy now!

I am halfway through reading the paperback of Force of Nature (Aaron Falk #2) by Australian author Jane Harper. So far I am enjoying it even more than The Dry.

I am currently listening to Blue Genes by Val McDermid, #5 in the Kate Brannigan series. I haven’t previously read or listened to any of this series, but that isn’t impacting my enjoyment at all.

This week I plan on reading Family by Owen Mullen

Family – might be the death of you…
The Glass family business is crime, and they’re good at what they do. Vengeance took Luke Glass behind bars – but now he’s free and he’s never going back. Luke wants out of the gangster life – all he has to do is convince his family to let him go.

His brother holds the reins of the South London underworld in his brutal hands – nobody tells Danny Glass no and expects to live – not even DCI Oliver Stanford, bent copper and one of the Met’s rising stars. The way Danny sees it, his younger brother and sister Nina owe him everything. The price he demands is loyalty, and a war with their arch enemy gives him the leverage he needs to tie Luke to the family once more.

Luke can’t see a way out, until Danny commits a crime so terrible it can’t be forgiven. Love turns to hate when secrets are unearthed which pit brother against brother. Left with no choice but to choose a side, Nina holds the fate of the family in her hands.

And Your Neighbour’s Wife by Tony Parsons

Tara Carver seems to have the perfect life. A loving mother and wife, and a business woman who runs her own company, she’s the sort of person you’d want to live next door to, who might even become your best friend.

But what sort of person is she really?

Because in one night of madness, on a work trip far from home, she puts all this at risk. And suddenly her dream life becomes a living nightmare when the married man she spent one night with tells her he wants a serious relationship with her. And that he won’t leave her or her precious family alone until she agrees.

There seems to be only one way out.
And it involves murder …

Only one Netgalley ARC this week, and that’s an audiobook, Bibliomysteries, A must-listen collection of thirteen bibliomysteries by bestselling and award-winning authors Bibliomysteries Volume 1 includes: – “An Acceptable Sacrifice” by Jeffery Deaver – “The Final Testament” by Peter Blauner – “What’s in a Name?” by Thomas H. Cook – “Book Club” by Loren D. Estleman – and many others

Thank you Carla! I will be starting this as soon as I finish Blue Genes, probably tomorrow.

Enjoy whatever is left of your holiday period and keep calm, we survived 2020.