Friday Funny . . .

Or, in this case, maybe not so funny. This is getting horribly close to the truth.

Ordering a Pizza!

“Hello there – is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No, sir – it’s Google’s Pizza.”

“I must have dialled a wrong number.  Sorry.”

“No, sir, this is the correct number. Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.”

“Oh!  Okay then – I would like to order a pizza.”

“Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual?  You know me?”

“According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.*

“Right! That’s just what I want.”

“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten-free, thin crust?”

“What?  I detest vegetables!”

“Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“Okay, okay – but I don’t want your awful vegetable pizza – I already take medication for my cholesterol.”

“Excuse me, sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.  According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug sale Network, 4 months ago.”

“I bought more from another drugstore.”

“That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.”

“I paid in cash.”

“But you did not withdraw enough cash, according to your bank statement.”

“I have other sources of cash.”

“That doesn’t show on your last tax return, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”

“WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! !”

“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.”

“Enough!  I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others!!  I’m going to an island without the Internet, without cable TV – some place where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me!!”

“I understand, sir.  But do you know that you need to renew your passport first?  It expired 6 weeks ago.”

Author: sandysbookaday

I love good quality chocolate. I love the ocean and love to be in, on or beside it. I read any and every where. I am a proud mum and Nana. I like wine, gin, Southern Comfort, a cold Heineken on a hot day. I am very versatile like that. I cross stitch, do jigsaws, garden, and work on a farm. I am an occasional scribbler. I have far too many books I want to read to ever find the time to die. I am an active member of Goodreads as Sandy *the world could end while I was reading and I would never notice* and review on Amazon under the name Sandyj21. My Goodreads reviews are automatically linked to my Facebook page. Groups I belong to and participate in on Goodreads include: The Mystery, Crime and Thriller Group; Mysteries and Crime Thrillers; Psychological Thrillers; Reading for Pleasure; Crime Detective Mystery Thrillers; English Mysteries; Dead Good Crime; Kindle English Mystery, All About Books and NZ Readers. April 2016 I made the Top 1% of Goodreads reviewers (As follows) Hello Sandy *The world could end while I was reading and I would never notice*, In our community of readers, you stand out in a notable way: You're one of the top 1% of reviewers on Goodreads! With every rave and every pan, with every excited GIF and every critical assessment, you've helped the Goodreads community get closer to a very important milestone – the 50 Million Reviews mark!

5 thoughts on “Friday Funny . . .”

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