Friday Funny . . .

THE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come to collect his things.  On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimps, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.  When he’d finished, he went into each and every room and deposited the uneaten shrimps’ heads dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.  He then cleaned up the kitchen and left. 

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.  Then, slowly, the house began to smell.  They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.  Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.  Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end, they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.  Repairmen refused to work in the house.  The maid quit. Finally, they couldn’t take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move. But a month later – even though they’d cut their price in half – they couldn’t find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.  Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going.  She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house back.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the house had been worth … but only if he would sign the papers that very day.  He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home … and just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods !!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU…?

Have a great weekend!

Author: sandysbookaday

I love good quality chocolate. I love the ocean and love to be in, on or beside it. I read any and every where. I am a proud mum and Nana. I like wine, gin, Southern Comfort, a cold Heineken on a hot day. I am very versatile like that. I cross stitch, do jigsaws, garden, and work on a farm. I am an occasional scribbled. I have far too many books I want to read to ever find the time to die. I am an active member of Goodreads as Sandy *the world could end while I was reading and I would never notice* and review on Amazon under the name Sandyj21. My Goodreads reviews are automatically linked to my Facebook page. Groups I belong to and participate in on Goodreads include: The Mystery, Crime and Thriller Group; Mysteries and Crime Thrillers; Psychological Thrillers; Reading for Pleasure; Crime Detective Mystery Thrillers; English Mysteries; Dead Good Crime; Kindle English Mystery, All About Books and NZ Readers. April 2016 I made the Top 1% of Goodreads reviewers (As follows) Hello Sandy *The world could end while I was reading and I would never notice*, In our community of readers, you stand out in a notable way: You're one of the top 1% of reviewers on Goodreads! With every rave and every pan, with every excited GIF and every critical assessment, you've helped the Goodreads community get closer to a very important milestone – the 50 Million Reviews mark!

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